May 2007
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Tuesday - 1 May
Letters From Horses
Dear Elly
How are you feeling? I hope you are well. My dear friend Marcha has told me that when one is ...ahem..."expecting".... one is fed VERY well, only the finest of feeds, and as much as one wants. You might mention that to Your Maid. I must admit, Marcha made it sound very tempting. A year of The Staff treating you like Royalty (for once), lots of food and no mention of the "E" word [shudder]....
Speaking of the "E" word, it is coming up in conversation again. I am getting worried. I'm thinking I need to do something drastic. It's too much work to buck...and getting sick is so unpleasant...hmmm, just exactly where does Knight live?
Oops, gotta go.....[music playing] It's dinnertime....:-)
Your Friend,Fancy
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Dear Fancy
As far as the "E" word goes.... our Maids are such suckers -- just act tired and they'll never make you work too hard!! Oh, and don't forget the
occasional head
bob -- used at the right times, they are very effective!
Elly
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Dear Elly,
You are quite correct about the Maid Slave. That said, lately she has been riding with someone who is Evil. She pays no attention to my head bobs,
weaving- with- exhaustion, stumbing- from- fatigue, etc. It is MOST annoying! She even makes me walk and trot *fast* using a *huge* whip <gasp>. Unfortunately she rides a gelding who is not as good at training his human as I am, although he does seem to be picking up some hints from me. Why, he was actually walking at a reasonable pace
(ie: slow enough to grab bites) the last time we rode. At least until the Evil One made us all wake up and pay attention and ride, sigh.
I do so love it when the Evil One works the Maid Slave equally as hard. And occasionally they will leave me tied up to the trailer to eat Good Trailer Hay while she makes the Slave run uphill and down. I find that VERY amusing! Now THAT is the way things should be! I will have to work on encouraging that behavior....
All the best,
Fancy
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Dear Fancy and Elly
You ladies are so clever. I employed the mysterious periodic head-bob with my mistress since she tried to take me out for a long ride on Saturday. I've heard her mentioning another REALLY long ride in a few weeks.... I trying to get out of it. I also resorted to pulling both of my brand new front shoes off within the first 5 miles, in an attempt to further get out of work.
Unfortunately my lady took me back to the trailer and put my red boots on, so that didn't work as planned. I did act REALLY super tired though so I made sure my lady had to get off and walk up the longest steepest hill. At the top I decided to employ the head-bobbing trick so she walked all the way back down and to the trailer as well, even when I gave up on the limp. Haha, serves her right, she should get off and walk for miles on end like that more often. Less weight for ME to have to pack around right?
I would also appreciate more tips on how to eat a diet of just carrots and alfalfa. I don't know about this Knight fellow but does he have the secret for this? Would it work for me?
~Sinatra
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Dear Sinatra,
You are correct to consider us clever. Please remember that Mares Are Always Right, period. Do that and we shall get along splendidly :-)
That said, it sounds to me like you are quite clever yourself. Not the shoe thing, of course. That is too easily remedied, as you discovered. But you must have quite perfected the head-bob maneuver to avoid up *and* downhill. It also was quite sensible to abandon it once you returned otherwise your lady would have called in the Sadistic One who would force your leg into torturous positions and then act surprised when you limped. There is no cure for this Wicked Behavior, but if you stand on his foot he will also limp, which will afford you some satisfaction.
I have yet to perfect the alfalfa/carrot diet. However, if those are the only things you eat away from home, then your slave will happily feed them to you at rides when you refuse to eat anything else. The same maid slave who starves you at home becomes obsessed with stuffing you at rides, so take advantage of this odd compulsion.
Forget Knight. Once upon a time you might have had something in common with him, but you can't learn a thing from him now, so sorry. But don't worry, I will love you anyway, trust me.
Fancy,
aka The Floozy
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Fancy,
I have NO idea why you go on and on about that Oregon loser, Knight, when right in your back yard you have
the gods gift to girls. He's tal..., err, dark and handsome and ALL of Ann's girls are fighting over him.
Since I met HIM, my life is forever changed. Why, since he came into my life the muscles that used to be used
to pin my ears have been instead redirected. And the teeth I lost from biting the steel rails are growing
back.
Think about it, do you really want to worry about your kids losing it
completely and careering out of control down the highway every time you cross 395?
Anyway, give me a ring, the maid is busy running poor stupid ROO boy up and down the training hill <snicker>
THOSE gelding haven't EVEN a clue. I mean, REALLY, we live together and I have shown him the head bob trick
over and over but does he get it? NOOOOOO, poor sad thing......
CA Zinfandel
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That Zini is such a bitch!!!! We're not talking to her anymore!!!!
Elly
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My Dear CA Zinfandel,
How lovely to hear from you. It's been so long! As I remember you excel in Maid Training. Why the last time we went out together, the maid rode Provo while you were able to romp free (after that clever under-the-tail-rope maneuver). Excellent, excellent work! Your are right, the boys are hopeless. Just the other day I heard my friend Monte's maid gushing over how much she loves geldings because they are so steady and predicable....sigh, will they ever learn?
I am interested to hear about your not-so-tall, dark and handsome boyfriend, but I'm afraid I've fallen hard. This time for a True California Beach Boy
[dreamy eyed sigh]. He's a golden palomino foxtrotter with *dreamy* flowing tresses. Let me tell you, he has some *very* smooth moves and I admit to be quite attracted to him [batting eyelashes]. So for now he is the Stud Of My Dreams, sigh....
Keep up the good work, and let me know if *you* need a set of those cunning halters that Lovely Elly just ordered :-)
Strategy wishes and alfalfa dreams,
Fancy
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Dear Sinatra
You and I really need to compare notes next time we see each
other on how to get out of work.
My maid took me out for a late afternoon jaunt today. Since
it was so late, I knew we'd only be out there an hour or so, so
I was running down the canyon as fast as I could, flipping my
head and having a fine time, until she turned me up this hill.
WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?! That sucker was steep! I went up
about 30' and then stopped to demonstrate my displeasure, but
she jiggled up and down and dug her heels in my sides, so I was
forced to soldier on.
I made sure to weave back and forth, and puff, and sometimes
I was so tired I wasn't even able to eat much of the yummy grass
next to the trail. And I continued to stop periodically, in case
she thought that I was eager to continue. Finally, after going
about 73 miles uphill, we reached the top. Is she insane?
The whole way up, there were these orange ribbons decorating
the trees and bushes, maybe there'd been a party up there
recently?
After a while, I realised I knew where we were, so I went
really fast again - afterall, we'd be back at the trailer in no
time, right?
Wrong! She got another one of those ludicrous ideas and it
turns out we weren't out there for an hour's jaunt at all - we
rode off into the wilderness for hours and hours. Once I saw
some other horses off in the distance, but they evidently
weren't lost the way we were, since I didn't see them again. It
started to get dark and I still have no idea where we were -
except for OBVIOUSLY LOST.
Finally I had to take matters into my own hooves, so I
started to trot slower and slower. Eventually, I was trotting at
walking speed, so she gave up making me trot for a bit. I
practiced weaving when she made me trot again, and I made sure
that she was forced to work as hard as me by peddling my sides
to keep me going (which, of course, I took no notice of).
After a while, she cheated by waving that huge whip-a-like
thing she has attached to her reins, so I had to think of
something else - then I remembered the stumbling idea, so I did
that for a bit - weaving and stumbling in my best fakey manner.
She fell for it! Hah! and we got to walk for a bit.
At this point, I needed to pee really bad - but did she take
any notice?? Nope. I tried to go off trail several times to
relieve myself, but she muttered things about me being bad, and
made me stay on the trail. Idiot. Couldn't she see my legs were
practically crossed? No wonder I couldn't trot.
And you wouldn't believe the eye-pluckers that were on this
trail! Tons of them, lurking in the grass. To begin with, I
tried to ignore them, but there were just too many of them, and
it's not like she was acting sympathetic to my plight, so I
started jumping sideways to avoid them. Hah, that was fun. She
got ever so cross - esp. when I did that really big sideways
spook and she got all wobbly. <titter>
As it turns out, we weren't lost at all (not that *I* knew
that, eh?) and were quite close to the trailer. Of course, she
didn't tell me that as I was trying to protect myself from that
tyre lurking by the side of the trail. It could have swallowed
me *whole*.
When we got back to the trailer, I was sure to splash on her
shoes, just to show her how unobservant she'd been about me
needing to pee. Next time she'll pay more attention.
Roo
(who is exhausted from being out there for nearly 12
miles, in the dark, alone, lost, and exposed to eye-pluckers)
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Cool - Canyon Trail - Training Hill - Knickerbocker
Loop:
http://trail.motionbased.com/trail/activity/2620760
(aka miles 44 to 46 and 34 to 44 of the American River 50)
(click for larger image)
Oh Roo!
I am so sorry to hear about that. Next time you MUST try the head-bobbing trick or the "I'm-going-to-die-soon" breathing technique. That worked pretty good last time. I know what your mean about those nasty whip-thingies. My maid had her's with her last weekend and proceeded to whip my butt while she was walking behind me up the hill. I should have kicked her for being so mean! I was only wanting to look around and eat some of the grass, the views were so pretty up there. But NO, work, work, work it was. She made me go at LEAST 3 mph up this HUGE un-ending mountain that went on for ever and ever. You better be careful because this was the same one she made me go up at the Washoe ride last year. It's at least 50 miles long and 60% grade, just horrible!
One thing I have learned is if you go REAAALLLLLYYYY SLOW right from the beginning, they begin to worry about you and then won't make you go as far or as fast. I learned the hard way though that I have to keep that act up the entire time, rushing back quickly once my nose is pointed in the general direction of the trailer tends to result in an about-face and much more work. And going back to the "but-I'm-really-tired" game doesn't work so well then. <sigh> Sometimes it's a lot of work to convince our maid's that we are MUCH better off standing in our corrals being fed copious amounts of food. Why don't they realize that? I've heard my lady mention something about "Vegas" this weekend so I think I'll be having a break!
Yay!
That's too bad your maid gets lost so easily. I ALWAYS know the quickest, most direct route back to my trailer, no matter where I am. Why just last weekend I was doing some lovely bending and contortion exercises while trying to keep as much of my body pointing back in the correct direction while my maid was trying to make me go down a different road.
Watch out for those eye-pluckers and don't trust your lady! Remember when we saw those starving wolves and grizzlies in the bushes and they said it was "just birds"?!? They obviously have no clue so we have to fend for ourselves. Why, I've had a tire (or tyre, LOL) jump right out trying to bite my leg before and only my quick reflexes and incredible ability to jump 3 feet straight in the air while spronging to the side saved me from being eaten. I left my stupid maid on the ground to be consumed instead in that case, I mean slowest one gets eaten first right?
I'm glad to hear you survived your harrowing ordeal. Maybe now we'll get to relax
and eat for a while.
~ Sinatra
P.S. Next time wait until she starts to untack you and then pee right when she's taking off your boots or cleaning your feet. That makes lovely splashes everywhere and results in a lot of scrambling and screeching. Serves them right.
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Roo
Sinatra says it all. Sigh, we surely must be among the most abused horses on the planet ;-( At least my maid only bothers me once a week.. I cannot believe that yours take you out AT DINNERTIME????? Surely that is felony horse abuse, and as soon as I figure out how to notify the authorities I shall surely do so....shudder....
Truly, a sad state of affairs :-(
Fancy
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Wednesday - 2 May
Chooks
This morning's peeper inspection revealed that:
Thursday - 3 May
Girths
After Roo's bucking at 35 miles at Buck Meadows the other day (Hmmm,
maybe I should have paid more attention to the name of the ride?), I
tightened his girth one more hole for the last loop.
In retrospect - looking at the two poofy lumps that came up either
side under the girth - I'm guessing it was maybe a bit too much.
He's prone to chafing in the armpit area anyway - not so's he's
gotten sore (yet), but enough that it makes his skin peel a week or so
later, so I was thinking about alternative options. When I rode on
Tuesday, I tried out a 26" mohair girth that I bought a while back.
Given that the neoprene waffle cinch I have been using is a 24" and
a bit long, and that I was shopping for a shorter one, I had to punch
yet more holes in the billets to make sure I wouldn't run out of
tightening opportunities with the mohair.
With Roo's spooking abilities, I'd hoped that maybe the mohair would
make the saddle extra-secure, but I can't say I noticed much difference.
However, I did notice that tightening up a non-elasticated girth isn't
nearly as cheerful-making for the horse as the elasticated variety, so
I'm not sure how often I'll use the mohair one.
So in conclusion, I either need an elasticated mohair girth or need
to think of something else.
More Chooks
When we were at the feed store last week getting
chooks, the lady
said she was getting some old english in today - so we bunked off work
early to see what they had... ...and came home with five more tiny
chicks.
Except for screaming all the way home, they are now happily ensconced
with their slightly older new siblings:
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Here's my lil'
golden seabright (left)
with the much larger, but probably
the same age, barred cochin |
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So in my cardboard chook palace, I've now got:
Friday - 4 May
Riding at Cronin
Managed to get a ride in at Cronin with Gail and Dana - we only went
<7 miles, but did a little bit of uphill trotting, so it was a good
workout. Tried Roo in the mohair girth again. Still not convinced. I'd
been riding for about 45 mins and reached down and found it totally
loose. I don't like the way it's hard to tighten, having no elastic. I
think I'll put the neoprene waffle one back on and try bodygliding his
armpits for Washoe next weekend.
Chili didn't get to come because she's been nursing a poorly leg for
about a week now (RF) - think maybe she tweaked it chasing the cats, as
she was limping a lot, but is getting better.
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Sunday - 6 May
Less Chooks :(
Sadly, two of the little tiny chooks didn't survive - one died on
Friday and I found another one this morning. Not sure why they don't
thrive - possibly they are too easily stressed or I haven't managed to
get the box warm enough (I've got a heat pad in there now, which has
helped, but the thermometer still only reads ~83°F and I think they do
best at 95°F). It was the two darker ones that died, maybe the
blue-breasted red and the spangled? The pale one seems to be doing well,
as is the seabright (who's either doing really well or is just larger
than the others).
On the flip side, the red frizzle is a feisty active thing and jumps
around happily, as does the barred cochin.
Shots,
Excursion for Jack
On Saturday I took Jack, Provo, and Zini in to Cool to get their
shots (WNV, 4-way, and rabies). They were all good children - especially
Jack, for whom it was the first excursion off the property since he
arrived in October. He took it all in his stride, jumping eagerly into
the trailer (which he knows will have hay in it, so he's perfectly
happy), and hopping out at the other end. He wasn't too sure about being
jabbed in the butt, but didn't notice that much. Zini fussed as usual
and Provo was a big baby - worrying about the shots, but not actually
noticing when they went in. I got a spare WNV for Mouse. Afterwards, I took Jack for a walk around
(a deserted because of the 24 hour mtn bike race) Cool staging area. He
was a bit alarmed by the big white sign outside the pizza place, and by
the big stump and the rocks, but after we played rock slalom for a
while, squeezed between the big rocks and the metal trash container, and
inspected the portapotty, the picnic table, and the wooden tie-up posts,
he settled down really well and was so busy stuffing himself with grass
he didn't even notice the bicycles whizzing past.
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Fat Legs
Went to practice putting Provo's new Size 1 Epics on this afternoon,
only to find out that he was totally stocked up in all four legs, as
well as his sheath. I'm guessing it's a reaction to his shots, although
it could have been something he ate, since he spent about an hour
grazing in the orchard while I went and fetched two loads of hay when we
got back. He seems cheerful enough, so I hosed him for about 20 mins and
took him for a wander, and he was moving well (well, apart from tripping
over his EZ-booted-feet).
Roo is still due his 4-way (I think) and his rabies.
Was a Tired Tim all weekend - not sure if I caught Ann's nasty
cold (without it turning into a cold) or what, but I slept large amounts
all weekend.
Tuesday - 8 May
Jack Goes to Stay with his Betrothed
For excursion #2 this week, late this afternoon I took Jack over to
Ann's for him and Abi to "get to know one another a little
better". He rode in the big back stall in the trailer for the first
time and apart from stomping around in there, he didn't seem any worse
for wear when we arrived.
Abi was still down on the 60 acres with Mouse and Mecca,
so we went down to get her. All three girls are looking very good
on the grass out there (read "they already look pregnant").
Ann was astonished just how fast Mouse had assumed blimp proportions
<grin>.
By the time we got back, poor Jack was doing laps, no doubt having a
small panic attack at being on his own for the first time in his life.
As soon as Abi appeared, he rushed over, did nosie sniffs and off they
went. He was very interested in her bottom until she suggested that he
not do that, and after that just a "look" from her dissuaded
him of further investigation - so he has learned some manners.
We're going to leave them in together until the end of June to
"see what happens".
Friday-Monday - 11-14 May
Washoe Valley Ride
Saturday - 19 May
Lucy's Birthday
Still dopey from the whack on the head, so I spent today sleeping
mostly. Not the world's most exciting birthday, but I needed a break.
Here are the latest chook photos (clockwise from top left) red
frizzle, giant grey cochin, white frizzle (doesn't it look like a
fairy?) and golden seabright:
Tuesday - 22 May
Exploring with Provo
Provie n' me went and rode from the "Old Bus Stop" (the
equivalent of Third Gate). Haven't ridden Provie in *ages* and he felt
very funky for the first minute or so. He's so fat at the moment that he
felt immense compared to narrow Roo. I had to stop after the first few
minutes to let down my stirrups, feeling like a jockey.
We rode up and down San Martin Mine Rd, exploring and trying to find
the trail up towards Greenwood Lake without success, so we ended up
going back and crossing the road through Potato's place and down Cuz's
Trail. We took a right turn and ended up scaling a ridiculously steep
hill trail that I think goes up to the Larkin's place, but the sun was
setting so it was time to turn for home.
Provo is so unspooky - he just gets on with stuff, trucking along
like we always have. It's nice to have him back.
Sunday - 27 May
"Fun Ride"
Drag rode the 12 mile portion of the "Fun Ride". It took us
FIVE HOURS behind the last riders. Ack. At least they had
"refreshments" at the half-way mark - margaritas on the trail
is very civilised.
At the end, checking Roo's back, the less worrisome mark of the two
had developed into a lump, so no more using the Barefoot saddle on him.
It seems when I two-point (which I do a lot), the leather where the
stirrups attach is pulling tight across his back and rubbing. I had
every single piece of padding in my Skito, so it shouldn't have been
able to do that. I'll need to try him in the SportSaddle this week.
That's what Rusty was riding him in, so it should be OK. That, or I'll
get the Sensation and be able to try that maybe.
Monday - 28 May
Tile
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After a year of procrastination,
I finally got around to doing the tile in the hallway. Now I've
just got the fiddly bits to do - and for that I have to rent a
tile cutter.
These pics were taken with the spiffy new camera. Today I also
played with the video part - took some lil' videos and spliced
them together for a short 7 MB video (of the pones, of course).
Unfortunately, they seem to be in a Windows "WMV" file,
which it won't let me plop down here, so I'll have to investigate
further to figure out how to pop videos on a web page.
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Ah, I think I've got it... this, my first ever video is about 7 MB in size, so may take a while to buffer:
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